It is critical that victims of narcissistic abuse commit to their healing journey and make it a priority in their lives. I must emphasise here, that the most important thing you need to remember when trying to understand why and how you were abused by the narcissist, is that the abuse was NOT YOUR FAULT. It happened because someone chose to abuse you and you did nothing to deserve it. The abuse was never your fault, however, the responsibility of healing from such, lies solely with you. These following concepts are important to factor in, when embarking on your healing journey.
Having your trauma validated
You need to have your trauma validated by the right people. Someone who understands implicitly the fog you have just come out the other side of, who will validate your experience with patience, and allow you free reign to take as long as you need to heal.
Process your trauma
Be aware of your triggers. A ‘CPTSD trigger’ is something that reminds you of your trauma such as a sound, a sight, a smell, or even a feeling. It is normal to have symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder due to the prolonged nature of your abuse.
Your self-care needs to be a top priority, and factored into your schedule ahead of other commitments such as work. One of the essential self-care strategies I recommend to help process and heal from your trauma is narcissistic abuse therapy.
Journaling allows you to slow things down and make sense of the jumbled thoughts in your head. You can also revisit your entries at a later date and start to form connections between your past and present behaviour.
Every victim of narcissistic abuse who has discovered that their partner is not who they thought they were is going to experience loss. Immeasurable loss that must be processed. This requires grieving. Grieving is essential to heal.
No contact a.k.a. grey rock
Taking your power back after narcissistic abuse is going to be so much harder if you are still engaging with your abuser when it’s not one hundred percent necessary.
Your new-found boundaries are going to be your best friend. Having healthy boundaries is your right, and you are going to have to ‘practice’ enforcing them.
Forgetting about revenge
However much you want to hurt them, and however much they deserve it, taking revenge will, I promise, have the opposite effect of the one you want and intend.
You do not have to forgive your abuser to heal. This a personal choice and should not be pushed onto a victim. If you feel the need to forgive, then forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not leaving sooner because you didn’t know it was abuse or you just didn’t know how to leave.
You will never get closure from the narcissist. You will never get a sincere apology, and they will never take responsibility for the pain they caused you. To do so would be for them to admit being flawed, and perhaps allow you the ability to move on. You will need to give yourself closure.
Nova will support you to implement these healing strategies so that you can begin your life with new self-love and self-worth, with boundaries that are sky high!