Whether they ‘discard’ you, or you manage to escape, the narcissist will want to punish you for not worshipping them anymore, and they will call on their followers to help them. We call these followers ‘Flying Monkeys’. If you have a narcissist in your life, then you will also have their flying monkeys, and it is very important to be aware of their ability to abuse by proxy. The term ‘flying monkeys’ originates from ‘The Wizard of Oz’, and is used to describe the narcissist’s ‘henchmen’. These individuals may be totally unaware they are being used as a flying monkey. Many flying monkeys will be just as toxic as the narcissist themselves, and will get great satisfaction in doing the narcissist’s dirty work for them, so the narcissist’s hands remain clean and they can always appear completely innocent.
The narcissist engages their flying monkeys so they can maintain their fake, charismatic persona with the rest of the world. Flying monkeys engage in rumor-mongering and toxic manipulation to punish the victim by destroying their reputation or to bring the victim back under the narcissist’s control. They may pretend to be the victim’s friend, the goal being to act as the narcissist’s eyes and ears, so the narcissist continues to have updated surveillance on their victim.
The smear campaign
The narcissist’s biggest fear in life is exposure. Once they know “you know”, they are in constant fear that you will tell the world of their “secret”, by revealing your inside knowledge of their true self. To this end, they must cut you off at the pass, by discrediting you and making you an unreliable, unbelievable source with an agenda. The smear campaign is about implementing damage control. The narcissist KNOWS what you are going to say about them, so they begin creating an imaginary reality which they disperse to all whom will listen. A reality that paints you as the villain and them as the victim, (DARVO)
With the smear campaign, the narcissist also seeks to punish their victim through isolation. The narcissist wants you to have no one for support and they want you to feel all alone. Smear campaigns are absolutely devastating for victims of narcissistic abuse. You have been completely traumatised by the ongoing abuse. You feel so alone and isolated from any connection to the real world, and you are now faced with hearing absolute lies about your character that paint you as a terrible person. What makes this even more devastating is that people you once trusted are believing the lies!
Nova will help you to understand the ways in which flying monkeys are used to abuse you by ‘proxy’ so you can ward of their ability to do so. She will also help you to understand the dynamics of the smear campaign, and work on strategies to minimise the impact it has on your life.