It is one thing to meet your abuser later in life and be sucked slowly but surely into a relationship that will tear at the seams of every ounce of self-worth you possess. But imagine if you never knew any different? Imagine if your abuser had been there your entire life, and had shaped and moulded your perceptions around how you should be treated, and the value of your feelings? Imagine if your abuser had systematically taught you what to expect from, and search for, in every other relationship in your life? Imagine if your abuser was your mother or your father?
Adult children of narcissists (A.C.O.N.S) often suffer debilitating anxiety and depression from a lifetime of walking on eggshells. They will very often have very poor relationships with their siblings, due to the scapegoat/ golden child/ invisible child roles that were assigned to each of them, and then pitted against each other by the narcissistic parent.
ACON’s will often have anxious and insecure attachment styles with a fear of abandonment if they are not the “perfect (submissive) partner”. Consequently, they develop incredibly high tolerances for abuse. They become people pleasers at the expense of ever having their own needs met. They may not even know what their needs are because they have never been allowed to have any. ACONS will often shy away from healthy, unfamiliar relationships, and find themselves in other toxic relationships where they are treated in a way that feels familiar.
The adult child of a narcissist is going to need a HUGE amount of support to, not just break away from the toxic relationship with their narcissistic parent, but to realise that their toxic parent is not going to change.
Nova will validate, and help you to understand your trauma as an adult child of a narcissist, and discuss strategies to minimise contact or end contact, and heal.